Saturday, April 24, 2004

FUCK MYSELF

See the clouds drift
See the castles built
See the fantasy played
See yourself dead.

You played in a garden
full of blossoms and life
filled with joy and happiness
Or so it seems.

You continue dreaming
You always run
You seek solace
But your soul's hurting.

You hope and search
Never giving up
But fuck yourself
for believing.

Feel the fake warmth
Feel the momentary joy
Feel the pretend friendship
Feel your very doom.

Sunday, April 11, 2004

A Letter to A Brother. (Unmailed)

Dear dearest,

You were always there
the cousin, the brother,
the friend, the father,
advising me and the others.

But look in the mirror.
Look at yourself.
I lost you in the reflection.
What? Why? How?

You broke my heart.
You brought me tears.
This tears plummets
from the hurt soul.

What's done is done.
I can't turn back time
nor can i change history
but I can choose to accept.

I will be by your side
For now and forever
in spirit, in soul, in thought
supporting and loving you as always.

This house will never be the same
but build your new house
with the strongest foundation
and fill it with warmth, care and love.

Congratulations, my dearest.

Forever will be your lil bro',
ab_d_rule

Thursday, April 08, 2004

To all the fucking voices around me,

I carve this angst
on my arms.
I seek sweet pleasure
from my blood.

I see pure life
in sufferings.
I love comfort
in the pain.

The dark wings I own
made me soar in the skies
so high up in the clouds
but I hate it up there.

I want to sink deep
so deep into the life that destroys
dive into the fires of life
and burn my body and soul.

i hate life. i hate death.
i hate him. i hate her.
i hate this. i hate that.
i hate pain. i hate pleasure.
i hate you.
I HATE ME.